Having a Bad Fur Day, Again.

Having a Bad Fur Day, Again.

I’ll always go back to that epic adventure involving mountains of operatic excrement.

Well hello there Mr or Mrs reader, and welcome to the latest of ManaTank’s new features. Entitled the Retro-Rewind, this segment of ManaTank will – from time to time – look back to the past at those games that were oh so very memorable and tell you all about them and why they were so ridiculously awesome. To kick things off I’d like to start with one of my fondest gaming memories, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, a game so ridiculously stupidly epic that it still gives me goosebumps because of it’s sheer audacity and generally unique approach.

Pushing The Platformer Envelope

Conker's Bad Fur Day

Conker’s Bad Fur Day first reared its foul-mouthed head during the N64 era, throwing it’s take on a 3D adventure into the mix. It was a risky move to say the least with competition from countless other 3D adventure heroes ranging from Crash Bandicoot to the big cheese himself, Mario. Conker, however, didn’t rely on cutesy graphics and collecting stuff to get by. No, instead this game was as far away from cutesy as Mars is to Earth (pretty damn far) and really, really made me laugh so hard I thought I might die. Maybe I did, and this is my spectral form writing this right now.

See, Conker was a platformer, but for adults. Sure, I’ve dabbled in many a platformer over the years (Gex FTW – who’s with me?) but the one that always stays with me is Conker, simply because it was so totally adult-oriented, taking established platformer tropes and giving it a totally unique spin.

What other game could one find themselves in the middle of a D-day esque landing scenario where you wield two machine guns and are fighting a race of evil teddy bears? What other game could have a lecherous old bee-king who wants to get his hands on a plant that happens to have giant bazungas and the only way to get her to reveal them is to tickle her? What other game could have a mound of quivering excrement with a penchant for singing that could only be defeated by throwing toilet paper into its mouth? No other, that’s what.

Seriously, if you’ve never seen The Great and Mighty Poo in all his glory before, now is the time to watch it. Thankfully I’m a kind old soul and I’ve got it right here for your enjoyment. It’s a special moment, so kick back and sing along.

If you’re one of those few unfortunate people who have never played this game, you probably should hang your head in shame.  Conker’s Bad Fur Day has so very much going for it, with a unique sense of humour packed into every corner of the game, exciting, diverse levels with a whole load of different mechanics and it even has a mission that has you getting totally drunk on ridiculous amounts of alcohol, unzipping your flies and then proceeding to unload vast quantities of urine on unsuspecting rock people. It sounds totally disgusting, vile and inappropriate, but – just like South Park’s Cartman – Conker’s Bad Fur Day makes debauchery awesome.

Thankfully, all is not lost for those of you who missed the Conker window, as the game is available for the N64 and was also remade a few years back for the original Xbox. So now you really don’t have any excuse not to buy it, do you? Unless you don’t have either of those consoles, or have no money, or are in fact a cat that’s somehow managed to click into this article and are now staring at the screen totally amazed, like so.

'IN A MINUTE MOM, I'M CHECKING FACEBOOK DAMMIT!'

Even when you strip away the layers of absolutely appalling antics, Conker’s Bad Fur Day still stacks up as a truly great game. Made by developers Rare (the creative minds also behind Banjo Kazooie, Perfect Dark and a whole load of other N64 titles), the game was a refreshing blend of different genres all rolled up into a platform game and is truly unpredictable the first time you play it.

For example, Conker, at the beginning of the game, wakes up in a field next to a talking scarecrow, hungover and feeling sorry for himself. Cut to a few hours later and he’s somehow been turned into a bat and has to feed an even bigger vampire bat creatures by dropping them into a big meat grinder. Like I said, pretty unpredictable.

It’s one of those games I’ll always go back in times of need for some good, old fashioned nostalgic enjoyment.  The same can be said for other titles like Final Fantasy VII, Crash Bandicoot and others, but Conker’s Bad Fur Day holds a special place in my heart. The part that burns for a game that doesn’t take itself seriously at all and instead ends with a fight that totally rips off the climax of Aliens, complete with giant mech.

So yeah, play Conker’s Bad Fur Day, or the Great and Mighty Poo will crush you in your sleep with operatic goodness. That is all.


 

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