Mass Effect’s Most Epicly Awesome Moments

Mass Effect’s Most Epicly Awesome Moments

With Mass Effect 3 about to smash into us and wage all out galactic war on our social lives, what better time to reflect on the past?

Mass Effect has a lot of moments. Like literally. Hundreds. Thousands probably. So sifting through em all for my favourites is no easy task, particularly since I’ve played through each game in the series multiple times and have (probably) seen everything there is to see.  Except for that mysterious rumoured old woman who gives out candies on the Citadel. She eludes me for some strange reason.

*Note – please don’t go looking for said old woman. She doesn’t really exist. I made her up, to mess with your mind.

When defining a top moments list, there’s two golden rules. 1: Nobody is probably going to agree with you and 2: Set them out all nice and explain, vividly, why you chose them. Let’s get cracking with the latter of these rules shall we (your disagreements may come at the end, in the conveniently placed comments box).

This article contains spoilerific goodness. Don’t read it if you ain’t played Mass Effect. Seriously, I’m warning you.

10: Damn Journalists!

In life, unless you’re readily aggressive/a boxer, you don’t get to punch people in the face a whole lot. Especially not reporters who routinely get all up in yo’ grill asking you questions that you have to give diplomatic answers to unless you want to come off as the world’s biggest badass-douchemonster.

Thankfully, there is a solution to your punching needs in the form of literally thwacking the face of news reporter Kalisah, who obviously deserves the random acts of violence you can throw at her if you so choose. If you’re yet to see the reporter smacking goodness (best seen in Mass Effect 2) be sure to regularly visit the Citadel and whenever you hear her chirping in the background, go over and give her a merry old thump square in the chops. It’s fun.

 9: I’m Commander Shepard, and I Love Everything On the Citadel

Commander Shepard Citadel

Whether he was simply amazed by the collection of model ships for the Normandy’s captain’s quarters or simply out to get a cheap deal, Commander Shepard got a bit totally and utterly obsessed with endorsing practically everything in sight on Mass Effect 2’s Citadel.

You all did it, right? If you play Mass Effect like I do (namely listening to every single shred of dialogue choices even if I don’t really care about what’s happening) you’ll soon have found yourself routinely saying ‘I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store on the Citadel’ to practically every damn merchant around. This seemingly harmless act then resulted in this speech playing every single time you wandered into a store on the Citadel, driving you insane with your crazy endorsement antics.

It’s also probably spawned forth one of the most popular gaming memes outside of ‘I used to be an adventurer like you…..then the Reapers blew off my legs and ate my planet for breakfast’. Ok, that wasn’t strictly correct, but hey-ho.

 8: Let’s Get it Ooooooooooonnnnn.

Liara and Shepard

Kissing Aliens. Controversial, It Is.

It was absolutely disgusting, grotesque and spawned forth a great deal of hatred from politicians who don’t have a clue about games. It was such an abomination of fetid oozing vileness that it should of been probably struck from the records of history altogether and Mass Effect should have died as a result.

Yeah, right! If you believed I meant any of that last paragraph, go stick your head down the toilet, flush, and then return, freshly invigorated for a new perspective.  I wasn’t talking about my views you see; instead I was talking about the views of many a person upon hearing that Mass Effect let you engage in vigorous hardcore sexual intercourse with *gasp* an alien.

It was ludicrous. The way several politicians practically browned their knickers with slurs at the game without playing it beforehand was astounding. They had this idea that the ‘sex’ scene within Mass Effect was totally graphic and sunk to new levels of debauchery not seen since an infamous vid involving two girls and a cup entered the internet’s circulation. It wasn’t. Instead Mass Effect’s sex scene was about as hardcore as an episode of Barney and Friends and was done with great taste. Sure you could be a female Shepard and still get it on with an alien, but technically, the Asari aren’t female or male, making it not, I repeat not, an all-girl scene.

It gets a place on this list for the massive controversy it received, making it one of my most memorable Mass Effect moments.

7: The Ship….Is Alive?

Sovereign Mass Effect

It's the CLAWWWWW!!!!

Up until a certain point in Mass Effect, Sovereign was just the name of Saren’s(the big baddy Turian dude with a penchant for causing total havoc) ship. Sure it was huge, looked like a cross between a giant purple beetle and Jim Carrey’s Claw hand (see Liar Liar) but up until that point, we didn’t really think anything more of it.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that the ship was in fact a Reaper, could talk, was more than a bit mean and promised to cause lots of trouble for my Commander Shepard. I didn’t know at the time just how troublesome the Reapers would become but it was still a pretty shocking turn of events that caused me to gasp in shock. Well, not really, but I was pretty wide-eyed. Like some demented leemur creature thing.

6: What a Total Wrex….

Wrex Mass Effect

So....My Head is Bigger Than Yours.

This is where Mass Effect really started selling itself as a narrative tour de force to me. It was essentially the moment where I questioned what the hell I should be doing, feeling for the first time as if things were starting to spiral out of my control and only my random guesswork could solve it.

You all remember it, right? That moment when Wrex, the grumpy Krogan who wasn’t all that talkative basically stood up to Shepard’s plans, threatening to mutiny and disband the group.  It was a tense, emotionally charged scene that could result in you having to kill the Krogan totally if you weren’t able to be persuasive enough and get him to come around to your cause. It was damn good.

5: Shepard’s Death

Normandy

RIP Normandy Mark 1

It’s handy, living in a sci-fi universe. You can be basically blown up by  your spaceship, asphyxiate in the void of deep space, fall through the atmosphere of a planet, hurtle towards the cold, hard ground at speeds most starships would cringe at, smash into the ground at said speed and then still be rebuilt totally and miraculously come back to life.

As stupid as it sounds, the scene at the beginning of Mass Effect 2 was awesome to behold, bringing the franchise back with a massive bang. It had everything, from total meandering confusion to explosions and the epic scene where you enter out into deep space and everything goes oh so quiet.  It even had the total destruction of the original Normandy spacecraft, which I’d become very attached to.

I still cry at night, thinking about that lost spaceship.

4: Battle Of the Citadel

Mass Effect Citadel

Fighttttttttt!!!

It’s nice when a game’s ending is a big pay-off, particularly when it’s in a game that has such a vast, sprawling universe like Mass Effect does. Thankfully Mass Effect’s ending was epic to say the very least, filled with moral decisions like deciding to blow up the Galactic council, plenty of explosions, anti-gravity antics and a great deal of zombiefied Turian goodness thrown in for good measure.

It also ended on a massive cliffhanger, promising us that the battle had just begun, and that Sovereign had a collection of Reaper chums just waiting in the shadows to come along and wipe out all sentient life as we know it.

Nice stuff Bioware.

3: That Time When The Mako Was No More

Mass Effect Mako

Worst. Vehicle. Ever.

You may question my judgement, putting this so high on the list, but, for me, there was no more important aspect of the gameplay decisions in Mass Effect 2 than the decision to remove the Mako vehicle’s clunky, boring exploration from the finished product.

A plague upon the body of the original Mass Effect, the Mako vehicle was such a pain in the backside to drive over repetitive lifeless terrain that a lot of people moaned about it, forcing Bioware to remove it from sight in the sequel. I rejoiced, at least for a full five minutes. Until I got to the planet scanning mechanic. ZZZZZZZZZZZ…

2: Mordin Goes Operatic

There’s certain things in life you don’t expect. You don’t expect, for example, to be hit straight in the head by a frisbee on your way home from work by a juggling sealion named Boris. You also don’t expect totally nerdy scientist types to break out into song, completely randomly and with their own lyrics.

For hilarity/randomness’ sake, this gets the coveted number 2 spot on my list. I am a Scientistttt Salariannnnnnnnnnn…..

1: A Ridiculously Epic Conclusion

Human Reaper

Yeah...We're Screwed.

Was there any doubt this would get the top spot on the list? Mass Effect 2’s ending is so effective, so dramatic and so pant-wettingly awesome that it deserves this highly coveted spot, and I’ll hear nothing against it.

There was just so much at stake. Companions could die at seemingly any moment, Shepard’s actions were crucial to the survival of the universe and there was a frickin’ giant human Reaper thing!

Awesome.

Debate Away!

As I said at the start of the article, you’re probably not going to agree. So why not jump straight into the comments and tell me what I missed, call me a fool for leaving out your favourite part and then talk about anything you wish?

Comments are closed.