Games I Didn’t Play and The Stupid Reasons Why

Games I Didn’t Play and The Stupid Reasons Why

We’ve all done stupid things for absolutely no reason whatsoever, but it isn’t until we step back and think it through that we are confronted with the reality of just how stupid those decisions truly were.

As one who makes a living from video games I constantly find myself fielding the same question time and time again: “What is your favorite game?” Regardless of my response, the person asking the question is usually prepped, primed, and ready to retort with what their favorite game is and why I need to play it. For the longest time I simply let this information drift in one ear and promptly out the other until I started to realize that people were consistently coming to me with a common list of titles that I should have played, but never did. That got me thinking. Why exactly didn’t I play these games that so many others hold in such a high regard?

In an attempt to discover some semblance of an answer to that question, I compiled a list of the games I most commonly get berated for not having played and tried to explain just exactly why those titles never found their way into my system.

Halo 3 ODST/Halo Reach

I would classify the high school version of myself as one of the largest and most dedicated Halo fans around. My free time generally consisted of lugging a massive 27 CRT TV set to my friend’s house in order to set up elaborate LAN parties that often spanned the entire length of the weekend. Yes, this was in the days before flat panel TV’s, Xbox Live, and affordable wireless internet. We actually got together.

My passion for the franchise extended well into the third and supposed final entry. I took plenty of time off work just to play the beta before over indulging with the Legendary Edition of Halo 3, simply to see if I would be lucky enough to get the helmet with the #1 on it – which of course didn’t happen . Feeling completely and utterly satisfied, I played through most of the campagin in one straight sitting.

When I saw Master Chief die, I felt a bit at ease knowing that I was finally able to put a small part of my obsessive personality behind me and free up that energy to obsess over something entirely new. By the time ODST and Reach were announced, Halo had drifted so far off my radar that I really couldn’t be bothered to rekindled a once torrid love affair, especially considering Master Chief was nowhere to be found.

The Entire Assassin’s Creed Franchise

I wound up buying the first Assassin’s Creed title the day it came out simply because I went with my roommate to pick up his copy and along the way he somehow managed to spin such an appealing tale about this game that it sounded like something I absolutely needed to own. AS it stands, that day is still a sore spot in our friendship.

To be fair, I was absolutely blown away by the sheer beauty and mechanics of the game. Never before had I experienced the freedom to climb and explore like I did that first day of playing Assassin’s Creed. However, the novelty wore thin almost instantly.

I distinctly remember there being such a small variety of missions which were repeated ad nauseum to create the illusion of length that I quickly grew bored of the game after mere hours with it. The storyline was engaging enough , but the gameplay left me wanting a bit more and therefore Assassin’s Creed found itself among the pile of games bound for trade in.

Now, I know that the series improved itself with Assassin’s Creed 2, Brotherhood, and Revelations, but seeing as how the storylines are so tightly interconnected I cannot not possibly bring myself to slodge through the first title in order to experience the sequels.

Gears of War

I do not claim to pledge allegiance to one system over the other, but there was a time when I was more predominantly geared towards gaming on the Xbox 360. So, that would naturally state that I would want to partake in the festivities of some of the console’s best titles, right? Well, for some reason I decided to say no to Gears of War.

I love shooters. I love gore. I love shooters with gore. Gears seemed to fit that mold perfectly, but logic isn’t always my strong suit. I tend to be the type of person that sees through hype, almost to the point of actually trying to debunk and discredit it and Lord knows there was enough hype surrounding Gears of War to last a lifetime.

I began to find reasons not to like Gears of War even though I secretly couldn’t wait to chainsaw someone in half. But what it ultimately came down to was that I was so turned off by shooters at the time that I just never got around to completing the first Gears of War and by the time my desire to play a shooter had come back it was too late to relive the long lost magic and luster. That and I think the camera angle/blur while running made me sick.

Batman Arkham Asylum/ Arkham City

I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am a massive superhero fanatic like some other people out there, but I do enjoy a good Batman adventure from time to time. I even grew up on the old Adam West Batman TV series, so it would only seem natural that I would be chomping at the bits to play a game that has been largely accepted as the best Batman title of all time. But no, I avoided it altogether.

I can fairly accurately pinpoint the cause of why I never gave this title more than a fleeting glance and that would be the absolutely abysmal demo that I tried before it came out. While farting around GameStop after a shift one day I decided to see what the Sony rep had dropped off for us to put into the PS3 demo unit. I had heard of Arkham Asylum, but really hadn’t gotten my undies in a bunch over it until I saw the demo pop up on the system.

I went into the demo expecting something entirely different than what I got and that so turned me off to the whole game that I never gave the title, or the series for that matter, another thought.

Well, come to find out that what I played in the demo was in fact simply a mini-game in the form of challenge maps. Here, for the longest while, I thought the new Batman game was simply a polished up version of the Bouncer.

So why haven’t I played it since, especially with the likes of Dan Curtis climbing down my throat? Well… I don’t have a good reason for that. I guess I better go buy them.

Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

There is simply no excuse for why I never played this game, especially considering the fact that The Ocarina of Time is among my all-time favorite games. Unforutnately, I was terribly naïve and vastly misinformed when this game came out. The only thing I knew about Majora’s Mask at the time was that the game had something to do with 72 hours.

Now, being that I was barely 10 years old and had yet to fully understand the concept of higher order thinking, I failed to grasp the concept of the game and just how revolutionary it – like its predecessor – was. I was under the impression that from the moment the cartridge found its way into my console I would only have 72 real-life hours to beat it before the thing rendered itself unplayable. So, I guess I always feared that if I were to start the game my parents would whisk me away to some awful weekend getaway while my game sat at home and slowly ground its way towards permanent disability. Stupid, I know.

This naivety, couple with a complete lack of the N64 RAM upgrade, ultimately led to me passing on this title.

To make matters worse, during my stint as a GameStop manager I happened to come across one of the rare Legend of Zelda Collector’s Edition packs for the Gamecube, but it was still factory sealed and I didn’t want to diminish its value, so it has passed the years tucked neatly away in a drawer. Again, stupid. I know.

Any Smash Bros Title

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been berated by countless people for my failure to play/enjoy any of the Smash Bros. titles. I am just going to flat out admit that I really don’t have a good reason for why I never played them aside from the fact that my sister and I grew up playing fighters like Mortal Kombat and Killer Instinct. Therefore, I think I saw Smash Bros. as a cutesy alternative that would never really satiate my desire – long since diminished – to play a solid fighter.


The Entire Mass Effect Series

I purposely left this one till the end simply because there is absolutely no reason why I haven’t played a single game in this franchise. I have always been a massive sci-fi fan and RPGs are certainly my genre of choice, so why I never fell into this title is absolutely beyond me.

No need to lambast me… I’ve gotten my fair share from Dan and GassyMexican.

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